August 6, Patio

Saint George and the dragon still clash above our fireplace.  Even in battle the knight's face, and the postures of both combatants, are prayerful and calm.  Like Rocky, though, Angela and I are now spending much less time at the hearth, and more time in the sun.

We visited the radiation oncologist last week.  He tells us that there has been no change on the most recent MRI compared to the last.  This, of course, is very good.  He has ordered a repeat skeletal survey, xrays of the rest of her bones, to be sure the cancer has not taken up elsewhere.  Angela, smiling, tells him not to worry.  She says, for the moment at least, she is feeling better.

It is hard to know if our bear's symptoms have improved.  Her determination, though, has continued.  Still she is up repeatedly in the night to "reposition."  When she is lying down, unless her arms are stretched out straight, they quickly grow numb.  When she drives to town she is sure to nap beforehand lest she fall asleep at the wheel.  There is, still, so much care required for simple tasks.  Irrespective of her persistent symptoms, though, our bear, clearly, is getting stronger.  She is driving herself to town now a few times per week.  She is walking Rocky down the highway a little further each day.  Wherever she goes, however far, she seems now to come back with photos.  She takes her iphone everywhere and pays close attention to everything.  She has captured some remarkable cloud formations, and at least one oddly beautiful insect.

For Angela's birthday yesterday we made a trip to Ottawa to visit the Van Gogh exhibition.  He too was crazy about tree trunks, insects, and clouds.

charity and good homes for old books

We boxed up most of Angela's library recently.  Still she cannot write without tingling and numbness.  She cannot read without sedation.  She cannot do either without a certain amount of grief.  For the moment, at least, we need some space on our shelves.  Today, we are rearranging our furniture.  We have the happy feeling that there remains plenty of space for new things.

We have started, it seems, with canvases. Angela continues to paint.  After some self portraits she has painted a couple of me.  Somehow in the paintings I am restful and calm.  In one I am asleep.  A pillow is under my head.  My eyes are shut.  In another I am slouched in a chair.  Angela, with her painting, is wishing me restful dreams.  It is true that the dragon had tired me out.  In recent months, though, as if to restrict my life as much as Angela's, I have been taking on many more responsibilities in my work.  My workdays are long.  In this way Angela and I retain the same pace.  I am grateful when I am away for the photos she texts to me of the clouds, and of Rocky's shadow on the grass.

We celebrated Angela's birthday last night with some wine.  Happily a glass of wine has become palatable again.  The sun has been beating down heavily on everything this summer.  Happily it seems to have slowed everything down.  We moved from the fireplace to the deck.  Forgetting the dragon for the moment we are toasting Angela's health.  Remembering Saint George we are staying prayerful and calm.

We know it has been a long time since I have written on this blog.  I do not have the strength of Van Gogh, whose paintings I now love, nor of a polar bear, or of Saint George, but I am grateful for our friends, and, ultimately, I will try...to keep you posted.